A thousand tiny cuts

The fantastic Laina quotes from an USA Today article on microaggressions:

 “the constant and continuing reality of slights, insults, invalidations and indignities”.

Today I spent way more time than I wanted in my boss’s office explaining that I’d been busting my ass trying to get work done for him, but no matter how hard I tried, it seemed like I never produced what he wanted. I’d taken to a project to what appeared to be a dead end, documented said dead end (you can’t run five vms that need 8 gigs of memory each when you only have 16 gigs total to use, including the memory needed to run the host), and tried to spend the subsequent time learning something useful.The whole exercise seemed to me like trying to build a race car out of rubber bands, and destined to fail.

Apparently, and unbeknownst to autistic, literal me, they had expected me to pursue other angles that involved pulling in members of other departments, filing requests for stuff that I’d already filed similar requests about, somehow recruiting higher-ups into delivering stuff I couldn’t deliver myself. Despite the fact that every time I ask for something (specifically, in WRITING) they give me something different. It’s kind of a fraught sexist environment, I’m autistic and female. I’m always going to do it wrong.

Calvinball

To me, my job seems like an endless game of Calvinball. And this is of course my fault.

I don’t remember how I came across the term “microaggression”, but apparently I did, and I’m guessing that it was a post on Facebook or Twitter made by someone who is on the Asperger’s/autism spectrum. I can’t recall if it was posted specifically in reference to Asperger’s/autism, but I do know that as I researched […]

via Asperger’s / autism and microaggression  — the silent wave

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2 thoughts on “A thousand tiny cuts

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